Rimming feels so amazing because the exterior region of the asshole is a highly erogenous zone with a plethora of nerve endings.
Dr. Evan Goldstein
What does rimming mean?
Rimming – also known as eating ass, anal licking, giving a rimjob, or anilingus – is using your lips and tongue on the anal opening and the area just inside it. Think of it as French-kissing the butthole.
What does rimming feel like, and who can enjoy it?
“Rimming feels so amazing because the exterior region of the asshole is a highly erogenous zone with a plethora of nerve endings,” says Dr. Evan Goldstein, a sexual health expert, anal surgeon, and founder of sex care brand Future Method. “The resulting sensations are indescribable, though most people compare it to having their most sensitive and ticklish areas kissed or licked.”
Beyond its physical pleasures, the mental and emotional vulnerability involved in licking someone’s ass – or having yours licked – is a big part of the appeal for many. “Rimming is a deeply intimate act, despite the absence of any actual penetration,” Dr. Goldstein says, adding that it “can be enjoyed by everyone, regardless of gender or sexual identity.”
That’s right: while gay male rimming is perhaps more widely known about and more commonly spotted in porn than straight rimming and other gender and sexuality combinations, enjoying this sex act doesn’t actually indicate anything about your sexual orientation. There are people of all orientations who get off on it – a fact testified to by the number rap and hip hop artists dropping lyrics about rimming in their songs.
Is rimming sexually fulfilling on its own, or is it more of a foreplay thing?
As with any kind of oral sex, ass-eating can play a broad range of roles in your sex life; you can devote entire sessions to just this one activity, or you can include it in a buffet of sensations to share with your partner.
While rimjobs can be lovely on their own, Dr. Goldstein says, “rimming and massaging your hole can also be a great introduction to this part of your body before diving into full-on anal play and penetration.” Partly this has to do with simply acclimating yourself to the sensations of butt stuff, which can be surprising or overwhelming when you’re not used to them – but physically speaking, the warmth and gentle pressure of a tongue can also help relax the usually-tense anal muscles so that other forms of penetration become easier.
Best Techniques: How to Master Anal Rimming
So all the following is assuming you’re keen to toss some salad. If you’re worried that booty licking just isn’t your thing, that’s okay too! You should never feel pressured into doing something you don’t want to do. Bear in mind that if you’re worried about STIs or germs, you can rim through a dental dam for protection.
Get In There!
First off, don’t be afraid to really get in there: spread the cheeks open with your hands and press your face in between them. Trying to rim from a more distanced position can tire out your tongue more quickly and may also communicate to your partner that you don’t really want to be down there. Enthusiasm is key!
Less Is More
It’s often best to take a less-is-more approach when stimulating a nerve-packed area like the anus, so that you don’t overwhelm your partner with an onslaught of sensation. “The asshole is such a sensitive part of the body that even the most delicate of touches can send shivers up and down your spine,” Dr. Goldstein explains.
Tongue Techniques
Your tongue is the main tool at your disposal when it comes to rimming. “You can try licking the asshole like an ice cream cone or lollipop,” Dr. Goldstein suggests. Experiment to see if your partner is more sensitive on one side of their hole than the other, or if they respond better to lighter or firmer pressure. You can even try out the famous “spell out the alphabet with your tongue” trick – doing this will teach you a lot about which types of strokes your partner likes the most.
Penetration
Your tongue can do more than just stimulate the outside of the asshole, though. “Some people who are more experienced at being rimmed enjoy the rimmer ‘penetrating’ them with their tongue,” Dr. Goldstein says. “This involves curling the tongue so it becomes a bit stiffer and then repeatedly [pressing into] the asshole.” While it might be tough to believe that a tongue could actually “fuck” an orifice the way a penis or finger can, the tongue is actually amazingly supple and strong, and can do much more than it’s often given credit for.
Other Techniques
That said, licking ass isn’t the only way to pleasure that tender area. Some of the non-tongue-focused techniques Dr. Goldstein recommends include “alternating between blowing warm air (like you’re fogging a mirror) and cool air (like you’re trying to extinguish a candle)” and “brushing up against it (sometimes facial hair can feel quite good).” Just be sure to pay attention to both verbal and physical signals when trying new techniques – or when trying old techniques with a new partner – so you can figure out what’s feeling good and what isn’t. If you’re ever unsure, you can always ask them to tell you what they like or want to try.
Cleanliness and Health
As with any other type of sex, there are risks involved in licking the anus that you should be aware of before trying it. According to Dr. Goldstein, STIs such as hepatitis A, herpes, HPV, syphilis, gonorrhoea and chlamydia can be transmitted via rimming. You can lessen the risk level for yourself and your partner(s) by regularly getting a full panel of STI tests, which should include oral and anal swabs, bloodwork, and urine samples and to use protection, such as a dental dam.
Bacterial Infections
While STIs can be contracted from almost any kind of sex, there are some risks that are unique to asshole-to-mouth contact. These include bacterial infections, such as e. coli and salmonella, as well as microscopic parasites that spread through faeces, such as giardia and shigella. You can get tested for parasites by having your doctor run routine stool studies on you, which Dr. Goldstein recommends if you plan on regularly engaging in rimming.
Wash Up To Get Down
However, the simplest way to reduce rimjob risks is to practise good hygiene by showering before your rimming session. “You’ll want to wash your butt crack and external hole, as well as just inside your hole,” Dr. Goldstein suggests, adding that gargling with original-flavour Listerine after rimming can also lower the risk of STI transmission. He doesn’t recommend the usage of wet wipes because they can cause irritation to the anal area.
We ♥️ Dental Dams
Dental dams, which are single-use latex or polyurethane sheets, can be laid down over the area to lower the odds of STI and parasite transmission. For optimal comfort and enjoyment, put a bit of lube on the receiver’s side of the dental dam before you get started.
Faecal bacteria can cause urinary tract infections and vaginal infections if you perform cunnilingus shortly after rimming – so if you’d like to do both in the same session, either save rimming until the end, or use a dental dam on the anal opening.
Do I need to shave before rimming?
It isn’t strictly necessary to shave or wax your anal area when planning to receive a rimjob, but doing so can make it easier to stay clean down there, increases the sensitivity of the area, and may be appreciated by your partner, depending on their preferences.
Despite all the stigma around it, rimming can be extremely pleasurable, emotionally bonding, and relatively safe – so if you and a partner are into the thought of it, why not give it a shot?
Kate Sloan (she/her) is an award-winning sex journalist, cohost of the podcasts The Dildorks and Question Box, and author of the books 101 Kinky Things Even You Can Do and 200 Words to Help You Talk About Sexuality & Gender. You can keep up with her work on Twitter (@Girly_Juice) and Instagram (@Girly_Juice).