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Tieing a Different Kind of Knot: Essential BDSM Knots For Beginners

If you’re dipping your toes into the world of BDSM and bondage, first of all, I’m so excited for you—you’re in for a treat. Rope bondage, specifically, can be an intimate, thrilling experience that takes trust, creativity, and, let’s be real, a few important safety precautions.
by Antonia J
2 Dec 2024

UPDATED: 2 Dec 2024

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED: 2 Dec 2024

Before we dive into the knots, let’s talk about why knotting is key – especially if you’re a beginner.

Rope 101: Understanding the Basics

BDSM knotting, also known as rope bondage, is a popular activity in the world of BDSM. Rope knotting lets you create intricate, visually striking designs while exploring both physical and emotional vulnerability. It combines the art of physical restraint with intense trust between partners — what a brilliant mix! It’s a way of letting go of, or taking control (depending on who’s doing the tying) and can add a whole new level of connection in a scene. 

But before you rush off to get all tangled up, there are some essentials to keep in mind. First up: safety. Rope bondage isn’t inherently dangerous, but without understanding a few basics, it can lead to accidental bruising, nerve damage, or even impaired circulation (eek!). Here’s what to know so you can practice safely: 

Types of Rope: Hemp, Cotton, Synthetic

Hemp – This is a traditional natural rope, favoured for its strength, durability, and that “authentic” bondage feel. It’s firm, holds knots well, and has a lovely texture against the skin, but it does need some conditioning to prevent it from getting too rough over time.

Cotton – Softer and often easier on sensitive skin, cotton ropes are beginner-friendly but may not be as durable as hemp. The softness feels gentle, but they can stretch more, meaning knots can slip if not tied securely.

Synthetic (like Nylon or MFP) – Synthetic ropes are strong and versatile but can sometimes be slippery, making them harder to knot securely. On the plus side, they’re low maintenance and easy to clean, making them a solid choice if you’re just getting started.

Rope Care and Storage Tips

Just like with any partner, your ropes need love and attention too. Natural fibres, especially hemp, should be conditioned (usually with rope oil or wax – not the stuff you put on your hair) to keep them flexible. When storing, avoid folding the ropes, as creases can weaken the fibres over time; instead, coil them neatly and store them somewhere dry. Keeping your ropes in good shape will improve safety and comfort when using them.

Essential Safety Tips for Beginners

Safety in bondage play goes beyond choosing the right rope; it’s about making sure you and your partner are equipped with the right tools and knowledge for a fun, risk-free experience.

Tools to Keep on Hand

Safety Shears – The best and fastest way to get someone out of rope in a pinch. Keep these nearby at all times – just in case a knot gets a little too tight to untie.

Blindfolds – Some like to incorporate blindfolds into bondage, which can heighten sensations. Only try experimenting with this if both of you feel comfortable doing so. 

Safewords – Always make sure you have a pre-discussed safeword for easy and speedy communication. Choose words that are easy to remember and universally understood, like “red” for stop, “yellow” for slow down, etc.

Key Areas to Avoid

Rope around the neck is very risky (and definitely not the fun kind of risky). We recommend avoiding this area completely, unless you’re practising with someone highly experienced.

Steer clear of joints and areas with lots of nerves, like the insides of wrists or the backs of the knees. Signs of circulation issues include numbness, tingling, or changes in skin colour; if you spot any of these, it’s time to release the tie.

Basic Rope Bondage Knots for Beginners

Now that you know your ropes (see what I did there) and how to use them safely, let’s talk about knots. These are the foundations of any bondage setup and can be used in various ways.

Single Column Tie

The single-column tie is often the first knot people learn. It’s perfect for creating a secure hold around one area without slippage.

  • Create a loop with your rope, placing it around the wrist or ankle (avoiding the joint)
  • Wrap the rope around this area once or twice
  • Pass the end through the loop, then secure it with an overhand knot

This tie is great for restraining without creating pressure points. Just make sure there’s enough space to slide a finger between the rope and skin to ensure it’s not too tight.

Square Knot

The square knot is a go-to for many kinds of bondage, since it holds well but is also easy to release.

  • Cross the left end of the rope over the right, and pull it under.
  • Then, cross the right end over the left, pulling it under and tightening.

This is a reliable knot for keeping things secure, but if you need a quick release, it comes undone easily with a simple pull on one of the ends.

Double Column Tie

Want to learn a tie that can restrain two wrists or ankles together? If the answer’s yes, then this is your knot. The double column tie is a classic for a reason.

  • Place both hands or feet next to each other
  • Wrap the rope around them a couple of times, leaving a small gap
  • Bring the rope ends through the gap, securing it with a square knot or overhand knot

With this knot, the two columns are bound securely but remain separated, allowing more comfort and circulation.

Once you’ve mastered the basics, you might be keen to explore the intricate and artistic world of Shibari—a Japanese style of bondage that focuses on aesthetics, symmetry, and the flow of energy between partners. Let’s explore a few basics.

Bight and Rope Placement

In Shibari, “the bight” refers to the midpoint of your rope. Starting with the bight allows you to evenly distribute the rope, creating clean lines. Good rope placement is essential not only for aesthetics but also for safety, as it helps avoid accidental tightening around sensitive areas.

Harness and Chest Ties

Harnesses, especially chest harnesses, can be both functional and visually stunning. For a basic chest harness:

  • Start with the bight at the centre of the chest
  • Wrap the rope around the body and across the chest, securing with a knot or lashing technique behind the back
  • Continue wrapping and securing around the upper body to create symmetry

These ties are meant to be snug – but not restrictive. Remember to check in with your partner frequently to ensure they’re always comfortable.

Exploring Bondage Positions

Now that you know some knots, it’s time to put them to work in classic bondage positions. Here are two of the most popular, beginner-friendly setups.

Simple Wrists and Ankles Position

This position, where wrists and ankles are tied individually or to each other, is a classic. Whether lying on a bed or spread out on the floor, this setup is easy and can be adapted with different knots.

The Spread-Eagle

For those who fancy a bit more of a challenge, the spread-eagle ties each limb to a separate anchor point. You’ll want to ensure you have strong anchor points on each side, like the four corners of a bedframe, and secure each wrist and ankle to an individual corner.

Final Tips and Further Exploration

Mastering the basics of BDSM knotting can open up a whole new world of connection, excitement, and intimacy. Rope bondage can be a fun, creative and satisfying way to enhance mutual pleasure and trust. 

Feeling curious? Tutorials and workshops are a great place to start. If you’re looking to expand your skillset, practising with books and videos can also help you get to grips with more advanced knots and ties. 

Remember, the most important part is communication with your partner. Communicate with them regularly, keep it playful, and respect each other’s limits. Bondage is all about exploration, one loop at a time—so, get knotty, stay safe, and don’t take it too seriously.