First Things First: Has This Person Squirted Before?
If so, great news – they know what it feels like! Now, it is a matter of replicating that sensation. If they haven’t, it doesn’t mean they are broken or will never be able to provide a fountain out of their southern hole. Not everyone makes their squirting debut when they plan. Temper those expectations. It may take a week, a month, or a year. Whenever it does happen, I hope it feels right for you. I hope you both wanted it to happen. I hope you enjoyed it – and if you didn’t, I hope you know that you don’t have to and that is okay too.
Is Squirting Real?
Let me assure all you: squirting is, indeed, real. For those who viewed the live demo at our last workshop…you know what we’re talking about.
It’s true: squirting is a natural body occurrence. Where this comes into question is the theatrics in porn. At times the squirting in porn is real, and at times it’s faked, either through douching or urination. This can be said of many sexual occurrences on the silver screen. C’mon, we don’t think anyone is actually orgasming in every scene of porn, do we?
What If I Don’t Like Squirting?
Not everyone loves squirting and that is okay too. You don’t have to like every fluid that comes out of someone’s body, including your own. Enjoy it if you enjoy it, and if you don’t, it’s not your place to project your views onto others.
Where Does Squirt Come From?
The source of squirt is hotly debated by scientists, though based on the limited research available and the anecdotal evidence of esteemed individuals, it is safe to say squirt fluid comes from both the urethra and the Skene’s glands. The Skenes glands are found in the erectile tissue surrounding the urethra. So…it’s more or less coming from around the same area.
During a period of sexual pleasure, not limited to orgasm, squirt releases from the glands and/or urethra for the purpose of lubrication. This creates that slippery waterfall we know as squirt or gush!
What Is Squirting In Sex?
Squirting doesn’t have to occur during penetrative sex for it to ‘count’ or be pleasurable. In fact, some people find it difficult to squirt while something is inside their vagina, as the fluid is blocked and can’t release. A literal damming up of the works.
When squirting occurs during penetrative sex, it is due to a stimulation of the G-spot by whatever is doing the penetrating and/or via the pelvic muscles of the person doing the squirting. I see you, non-penetrators: the G-spot can be stimulated in many ways….only one of them requires direct contact.
We all squirt differently, much like we all orgasm differently. It doesn’t make any particular method better. It only matters which is best for you or your partner/s.
What Makes Someone Squirt?
The G-spot is linked to squirting, but not in the way we think. Yes, G-spot stimulation is needed for squirting to happen, but this need not occur at the same moment as ejaculation. We don’t even have to engage the G-spot manually! G-spots are perfectly capable of engorging via the surrounding muscles. As it turns out, the G-spot is less of a spot and more of an area. When engorged, it has more of a spring or squish to the touch—like a sponge.
An area that behaves similarly is the perineal sponge, a spot just as important—if not more so—for squirting and arousal. Located opposite the G-spot towards the bottom of the vaginal canal, it also shares a wall with the anal cavity. Another bundle of erectile tissue begging for sexual attention.
How To Make A Person Squirt
Similar to an orgasm, we can’t ‘make’ anyone squirt. We can assist in squirting. Someone can hold themselves back from squirting the same as they can with orgasm. Alternatively, someone can have such an integral role in their orgasm or squirting (they are two different things) that their active participation is required to make this stream flow.
Now you might be saying, ‘Okay, Lola. So how do I assist in someone squirting?’ Instead of setting your sights solely on the lofty squirting goal, set your intention on their newfound pleasure. Maybe squirting will be a result, maybe it won’t, but the important part is to not be disappointed if a certain outcome doesn’t occur.
Here’s a little secret: precursors to squirting can help you tell if the stars are aligned. Besides, even if your person doesn’t squirt, these should help them have a fun time. Win-win.
Arousal
Crucial for first-time squirters, peak arousal not only helps your person become unbridled, but builds up squirt fluid. Splish splash. That’s the sound of the squirt train a-coming.
What’s the best way to quick-start that arousal?
Use a foundation of what your partner likes orally, digitally, or something you learned in a Pussy Massage workshop.
This next advice will feel familiar to any workout lovers in the room: add an interval. Similar to Tabata or HIIT workouts, take a certain amount of ‘time on’ or in a particular area, and another fixed amount of ‘time off.’ Three seconds on, two seconds off…or insert whatever intervals you see fit. The G-spot and clitoris are equally sensitive areas, almost too sensitive. This much-needed time off allows the spot you target to rest while highlighting the sensation when you are ‘on’ the area. Vulvas love repetition and the fluid motions provide a reliable rhythm so your partner can focus on muscle engagement or breathing.
The Motorcycle Rev
In this move, your middle and ring finger sit inside of the vagina with the index and pinky finger resting on the vulva as if you are making the ‘I love you’ symbol in sign language with your hand. Watch out for that pesky thumb, you don’t want to poke down on someone’s hip!
Relax and lower the heel of your hand to make contact with the mons pubis—the upper vulva—just above where the clitoris protrudes. This contact provides stimulation to the shaft of the clitoris—a favourite of many people with vulvas—while the fingers inside the vagina stimulate the G-spot or crux of the internal clitoris. All the while, the index, and pinky make contact with the vestibular bulbs of the clitoris via the inner labia.
You read right, we are making contact with THREE separate parts of the clitoris structure. Once here, slowly move your hand in smaller movements and eventually rev that motorcycle making a similar motion you would with a throttle—not too rough… it’s still a vagina, not a machine.
Soundcheck time! If you hear the splish-splash sound from inside of the vagina, you might squirt! You now need to figure out how to get this out of the body. That’s where muscle engagement comes in…
Muscle Engagement
There’s plenty of reasons to focus on your pelvic floor. As Pelvic Floor therapist, Rachel Gelman reminds us, “It is involved in many important functions. It helps us defecate and urinate. It’s involved in erections and orgasms and it provides postural support. It does a lot of jobs, so we want it to be functioning well.”
Having a healthy pelvic floor does not mean having the strongest vagina on the block. A strong pelvic floor can be dysfunctional too. Instead, we want to focus on all the pelvic floor states, from contraction to elongation. Your pelvic floor is most likely healthy to begin with. Gelman assures, “If you aren’t experiencing symptoms of pelvic pain, urinary, bowel and/or sexual issues, your pelvic floor is probably working well.” Given that foundation, you’ll need to learn how to engage with it.
Having trouble with that mind-to-body connection? Think of the pelvic floor as a lift. Imagine yourself slowly pulling that lift up, floor by floor. This is contracting. Now try to push that lift back down, floor by floor. This is elongating. Once you have those moves down it’s about trial and error. Though, your errors might be really, really fun.
Why Can’t I Squirt?
I may not be able to diagnose you from afar, but there are a variety of reasons why you or your partner might not be squirting.
For starters: calm it down. Just because you can’t squirt today, it doesn’t mean you won’t tomorrow, next week, or next year.
Also remember that squirting is not some holy grail of sexual achievement. For some, squirting is an incredible release, and for others, it’s a nuisance. There is no normal. There is no broken. There is only what you enjoy and what you’re comfortable with.
If squirting is something you want to experience, it is a journey. Enjoy the process and allow your body to experience new sensations. Most importantly, push your body past what you think it is capable of, and allow it to move on its own autopilot. Our bodies are very smart. It’s about time we trusted them.
Squirting For Now And Squirting Forever
Squirting will continue to be a favourite topic amongst sex enthusiasts. It’s basically the white whale of sex, perhaps due to science being yet to definitively conclude an answer to the pee question. Whatever the reason, we’re always looking to continue the conversation around squirting at KK.
Keen to dive deeper?
Keep an eye out for our next Squirting Workshop!
Lola Jean is a Sex Educator, Mental Health Professional, Wrestler, Pro Domme and World Record Holder for Volume Squirting (solo.) providing the No Frills Sex Education we both need and deserve. Lola brings a refreshing understanding to sex, sexuality and kink to push individuals past what they think they are capable of. There is so much we are not exploring due to fear. Fear of how society will view us. How our partners will view us. How our peers will view us. Lola helps individuals stop making excuses and unlock who they are and what they deserve.